Passion

So.... I just got back from praise band practice and I just have so much energy right now. It's something about worship that is so passionate and so real that is just infectious. I couldn't be more excited about TNT tomorrow.... Now comes some explanation. I am involved with campus ministry at Michigan Tech through Campus Crusade for Christ. I sing in their praise band... not great but passable. I also lead a bible study through CCC. It really is a great way for me to grow closer to God and do what I'm passionate about. Okay, explaination through, now we can get back to everything else. I'm currently reading a book called Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller, and I read this section that I will share with you that I believe to be very profound and something I need to try and live more like. "But the trouble with deep belief is that it costs something. And there is something inside me, some selfish beast of a selfish thing that doesn't like the truth at all because it carries responsibility, and if I actually beleive these things I have to do something about them." I want so badly to live as I want to believe.... if that makes any sense at all. Putting my faith into a true practice and way of life. I think that is what I love about Crusade. It gives me an outlet to live that life..... scratch that I don't like how that sounds. Faith is not something that should be released in a specific outlet, it should be an overflow in all of life. But, I guess what I'm trying to say is that Crusade aids me in living a faith led life. Yet, I still can't yet fight the nervousness and apprehension with being outspoken of my faith... It seems as when I speak of it that I try to play it down. I cannnot do that, for my God, my Lord, my Savior, Jesus Christ is not something that should be played down. My God is the reason that I'm hear and the reason for all that I do, and I'm ashamed for the times that I have played him down. So, I pray for confidence and boldness to proclaim his name when the opportunity arises, for by myself, I am unable of such a deed. So... that just kind of came out. Ahhhh..... all I can say is that I love life.