... But Sometimes It Just Does

So I guess this is the first my life sucks post on this blog. Hopefully these will be few and far between. So.... Sunday night I broke up with my girlfriend of almost 2 years. I just felt like I couldn't give her all that she deserved. That I didn't have enough to give to the relationship. I felt like the long term relationship put pressure on me and it felt like a burden, and a relationship shouldn't feel that way... so I ended it. I called a friend over and we talked it over and he understood where I was coming from and didn't think that I was insane or anything for doing this. But, at the same time this is the girl that I want to spend the rest of my life with and I know this to be true. So the question around 3 in the morning on monday morn. that I was rolling around with was: "Do I end a relationship that I know that I want to continue for the rest of my life because at the time I feel like I can't give enough to it or do I stick it out and give what I can because there is no one I would rather be with?" Well round abouts of 3:45 in the morn I decided that sticking it out would be the best option since I could not see myself with anyone else and I love her more than I have loved anyone ever and I could not deal with causing her that much pain. So, I e-mailed her and let her know this. Well, come the next day I'm sweating because it's ridiculously humid out and I haven't heard back yet. Then she jumps on IM.... and she forgives me... Never have I felt more relieved. So while my world was turned upside down for about 12 hours it's back and all the tense weeks, (2), that led up to this are history. I don't know how awkward it will be because of this but I know I'm where I should be.

On a completely unrelated note, one of the most important things in my life is music... so I think I'm going to throw what I happen to be listening to at the bottom of each post and eventually a song or few. Sometimes it will be a song and sometimes it will be an album. It will show up at the end like this.... (look at the end). I'll also put down what I happen to be reading at the time. I love to read and sometimes I don't feel I do it enough, but just maybe by putting it on here it will make me read more. And I think that I'll do a review of each book as I finish.... more on what it meant to me and less on it's literary value. You'll probably find this where the music will be. So yeah.....

Listening to... XO (Album) - Elliott Smith
Currently Reading... Real Sex: The Naked Truth About Chastity - Lauren F. Winner