And a quick update...
Update
I guess this came off a little more depreciating then I would have liked for it to. Rest assured I do believe that I am very creative... I was just feeling at the time that I wasn't. I just feel like I have to learn how to better tap into said creativity. This was supposed to come across a little more hopeful than it did... anyways, enough with the forward and get reading!
I actually started moving today... If it were up to me I probably would have put it off longer but Andy got here today, so out went all of the things that I had in that room. I'm probably about half moved over to the new place, and the stuff that is here has begun to get organized. Hopefully I'll bring it over tomorrow.
It's 1:30 in the a.m. and I'm barely, if at all, tired. I woke up early... relatively at least, today so I'm not quite sure what has brought about this bout of restlessness. I need to do something with it so I think that I'm going to read after I'm done posting.
I watched V for Vendetta today and I'll say that it get worse with each subsequent viewing... maybe I'm just bitter about how the story got twisted and things that were left out that should have been in there.
I was playing guitar tonight as well. I'm glad that I took it up. My biggest problem is figuring out what I want to play. I'm too tight when just "goofing around" on it. I'm much looser and play much better playing a set of chords laid out for me. I know music and I know what sounds good when I hear it yet I can't bring myself to create. I have the same problem with words. When given a topic and an outline of what is needed I can, I believe, write well. However, when told to simply write I struggle to find something to write of. I feel that if I could just let go and take a chance that I could write something good. Am I cursed to be good at imitation and not creation? I hope not. The sounds are there yet I can't pull them out. The words are there and yet they aren't. Creativity is on the tip of my tongue and yet I cannot form the wind to blow it off into something new and beautiful. For as long as I can remember I have wanted to create things... however in my search all I have learned is repetition.
Helping my mom make cookies as a child was a chance... to follow a recipie.
Getting a science kit as kid was a chance... to follow formulas.
Drawing... was simply tracing.
Words, writing... was done in 3 to 5 paragraphs with an introduction, and conclusion. The body of the piece had to contain specific elements or it was with out merit. Oh, and make sure that it is on this topic. Whoever said that "restrictions breed creativity" needs to be taken out behind the chemical shed and shot.
Music... was intimate... yet never mine. It was someone else who was able to say what I wanted to. Someone else to create melodies and space in which I could lose myself. Maybe this is why enjoy it so... music is a haven... a haven in which I can lose myself. However this is off topic. When I finally got a guitar last year and learned to play I learned chords, and chord progressions that made up songs. Never anything that I made, always something by someone else to imitate.
So I find myself at 24 years, 6 months, and 13 days with an intense longing to create and no idea how to do so. Is there anyway to learn how to create? Or am I simply destined to follow, to imitate, to suffocate on my inability to remove the barriers in my mind that keep me from simply making.
On the plus side, blogging has served me well. To write with no restrictions, no expectations is liberating. Maybe there is light at the end of the creativity tunnel... no matter how far that light is in the distance.
I guess this didn't turn out to be the quick update the title said it would be.
Currently Reading... Ian McEwen - Saturday
Currently Listening to... Cobra Starship - Snakes on a Plane (Bring It)
I guess this came off a little more depreciating then I would have liked for it to. Rest assured I do believe that I am very creative... I was just feeling at the time that I wasn't. I just feel like I have to learn how to better tap into said creativity. This was supposed to come across a little more hopeful than it did... anyways, enough with the forward and get reading!
I actually started moving today... If it were up to me I probably would have put it off longer but Andy got here today, so out went all of the things that I had in that room. I'm probably about half moved over to the new place, and the stuff that is here has begun to get organized. Hopefully I'll bring it over tomorrow.
It's 1:30 in the a.m. and I'm barely, if at all, tired. I woke up early... relatively at least, today so I'm not quite sure what has brought about this bout of restlessness. I need to do something with it so I think that I'm going to read after I'm done posting.
I watched V for Vendetta today and I'll say that it get worse with each subsequent viewing... maybe I'm just bitter about how the story got twisted and things that were left out that should have been in there.
I was playing guitar tonight as well. I'm glad that I took it up. My biggest problem is figuring out what I want to play. I'm too tight when just "goofing around" on it. I'm much looser and play much better playing a set of chords laid out for me. I know music and I know what sounds good when I hear it yet I can't bring myself to create. I have the same problem with words. When given a topic and an outline of what is needed I can, I believe, write well. However, when told to simply write I struggle to find something to write of. I feel that if I could just let go and take a chance that I could write something good. Am I cursed to be good at imitation and not creation? I hope not. The sounds are there yet I can't pull them out. The words are there and yet they aren't. Creativity is on the tip of my tongue and yet I cannot form the wind to blow it off into something new and beautiful. For as long as I can remember I have wanted to create things... however in my search all I have learned is repetition.
Helping my mom make cookies as a child was a chance... to follow a recipie.
Getting a science kit as kid was a chance... to follow formulas.
Drawing... was simply tracing.
Words, writing... was done in 3 to 5 paragraphs with an introduction, and conclusion. The body of the piece had to contain specific elements or it was with out merit. Oh, and make sure that it is on this topic. Whoever said that "restrictions breed creativity" needs to be taken out behind the chemical shed and shot.
Music... was intimate... yet never mine. It was someone else who was able to say what I wanted to. Someone else to create melodies and space in which I could lose myself. Maybe this is why enjoy it so... music is a haven... a haven in which I can lose myself. However this is off topic. When I finally got a guitar last year and learned to play I learned chords, and chord progressions that made up songs. Never anything that I made, always something by someone else to imitate.
So I find myself at 24 years, 6 months, and 13 days with an intense longing to create and no idea how to do so. Is there anyway to learn how to create? Or am I simply destined to follow, to imitate, to suffocate on my inability to remove the barriers in my mind that keep me from simply making.
On the plus side, blogging has served me well. To write with no restrictions, no expectations is liberating. Maybe there is light at the end of the creativity tunnel... no matter how far that light is in the distance.
I guess this didn't turn out to be the quick update the title said it would be.
Currently Reading... Ian McEwen - Saturday
Currently Listening to... Cobra Starship - Snakes on a Plane (Bring It)
posted by Dan at 1:35 AM
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